The Day Of Flowers And Stuffed Things
I don't like Valentine’s Day. I never did.
Personally, I think it’s beyond conventional wisdom why anyone would want to waste time and money to 'celebrate' this day. What would drive some men to spend money on a bunch of shit that’s just going in the garbage the next day? I mean seriously...overpriced stupid roses and equally stupid stuffed things?
Think about it, does a woman really give a fuck about stuffed things?
And when someone is buying an emo and overpriced Hallmark card or a stuffed thing, they’re not thinking - "Awwww...what a cute card / stuffed thing. I bet Mary / John will love me more because I'm sensitive".
No. They're not.
They're actually thinking “Hey, a card. Mary / John will like this one. I just might be getting some crazy fuck tonight. Yaaaayyy!!!”.
And there are plenty of days such as this one, but none take as much shit as Valentine’s. In some country, this day is made a holiday. Christmas and Easter - I can understand. At least these ones has some clear meanings although obscured and exploited. But fucking Valentine’s Day? Nobody even knows what the hell that’s about. No one is even totally sure who this holiday is supposed to honor. Or honour or whatever.
So whats the deal with this day? Whats up with the flowers and the stuffed things? Why not chocolates in the shape of crazy axes in honor of that Valentine dude who got his head chopped off? Better yet - something radical like chocolates in the shape of his decapitated head, yo!
Yes, Wiki will tell you that it all started with this Christian dude, Valentine.
No. Hold it. There were several of them. Actually, three of them...errr maybe four or seven Valentine's from the days of late antiquity. At least one of them got his head lobbed off because it was cool to get your head on the chopping board. Then there's this legend about one who rode around Europe on a white horse spreading the message of love and shit.
There’s just so many Christian Valentine martyrs and none would qualify to have his own day. And I also read that before the Christians, the good pagans had excessive feasts which included sexual and drinking debauchery around February 14th. This, I think is closer in spirit to what this day is about. Better than celebrating the sorry lives of martyrs with gay names like Valentine , if you ask me. And I'm not implying gay names are bad. But then again, who the fuck knows, right?
This day is about a mix of pagan style party which includes lots of drinking which is good, some crazy fucking on the side and a few dead Christians.
And so, it is with deep conviction that I think the meaning of this awful day was not lost over time but in fact there was never one.
As for me, I'd be at the pub later tonight, getting really crazy drunk. I should be leaving earlier than usual to watch some old Japanese porn.
Personally, I think it’s beyond conventional wisdom why anyone would want to waste time and money to 'celebrate' this day. What would drive some men to spend money on a bunch of shit that’s just going in the garbage the next day? I mean seriously...overpriced stupid roses and equally stupid stuffed things?
Think about it, does a woman really give a fuck about stuffed things?
And when someone is buying an emo and overpriced Hallmark card or a stuffed thing, they’re not thinking - "Awwww...what a cute card / stuffed thing. I bet Mary / John will love me more because I'm sensitive".
No. They're not.
They're actually thinking “Hey, a card. Mary / John will like this one. I just might be getting some crazy fuck tonight. Yaaaayyy!!!”.
And there are plenty of days such as this one, but none take as much shit as Valentine’s. In some country, this day is made a holiday. Christmas and Easter - I can understand. At least these ones has some clear meanings although obscured and exploited. But fucking Valentine’s Day? Nobody even knows what the hell that’s about. No one is even totally sure who this holiday is supposed to honor. Or honour or whatever.
So whats the deal with this day? Whats up with the flowers and the stuffed things? Why not chocolates in the shape of crazy axes in honor of that Valentine dude who got his head chopped off? Better yet - something radical like chocolates in the shape of his decapitated head, yo!
Yes, Wiki will tell you that it all started with this Christian dude, Valentine.
No. Hold it. There were several of them. Actually, three of them...errr maybe four or seven Valentine's from the days of late antiquity. At least one of them got his head lobbed off because it was cool to get your head on the chopping board. Then there's this legend about one who rode around Europe on a white horse spreading the message of love and shit.
There’s just so many Christian Valentine martyrs and none would qualify to have his own day. And I also read that before the Christians, the good pagans had excessive feasts which included sexual and drinking debauchery around February 14th. This, I think is closer in spirit to what this day is about. Better than celebrating the sorry lives of martyrs with gay names like Valentine , if you ask me. And I'm not implying gay names are bad. But then again, who the fuck knows, right?
This day is about a mix of pagan style party which includes lots of drinking which is good, some crazy fucking on the side and a few dead Christians.
And so, it is with deep conviction that I think the meaning of this awful day was not lost over time but in fact there was never one.
As for me, I'd be at the pub later tonight, getting really crazy drunk. I should be leaving earlier than usual to watch some old Japanese porn.
posted by Demented | Saturday, February 14, 2009
12 Comments:
Japanese porn. Okay. Selamat menyambut hari Valentin.
Oh, last nite, after returning from Ruai I got drunk. I stopped by the roadside to nap and didn't realise someone had just robbed my phone and money from my wallet while I slept. Cibai.
langkau : no wonder lah. i called you at10:07am just now and i couldnt get an answer. i thought you left to 'village of men' already.
are you sure you got robbed by the roadside kah? because that is some scary shit. youre lucky they didnt rape your ass or something. this calls for 'eating safe' on a big scale.
Demented, yes, I went to the village of men after noon and feasted on the pig forest that one of the guys shot a day before. And at about 8pm, we went to the village that resembled the name of your waterfall for a wedding. That was fun. Left the whole drinking, wedding and teka-teki activities at 12 midnight, a bloody two-hour drive back to Kusing.
"Rape your ass or something" - damn. No wonder I felt a niggling ache in my rectum yesterday.
Aiyah, if cannot do this valentine thing, just go to the pub, sit in the corner and get drunk lah. No need to complain lah.
Mr Valentine from Kota Belud with love ooohways.
kanid, much too much lah you. already got robbed and then can have fun some more.
mr valentine : I did just that. went to the pub, sat in the corner and got drunk.
"...They're actually thinking “Hey, a card. Mary / John will like this one. I just might be getting some crazy fuck tonight. Yaaaayyy!!!”..."
And soon after we dined on an overpriced meal that came with a complimentary sparkling non alcoholic wine for my date, I then took her home and she gave me one of the most memorable bonning.
It works, my friend. It works.
By the way, instead of buying her an overpriced Hallmark, I made her one. I think that one got me where I wanted. Muahhhahhaha!
mart : errr...yaaaayy!
I was waiting for this post. I knew you always post something on Valentine's and another on April's Fool.
HAHA
-anon
Happy Valentine's heheheeeeeeee!
I think mine was a sexy one cus i spent the day writing my 1st assignment wheeeeeeeee.
Hello, are you.... dead?
anon : errr...unfortunately, i have not had the oppurtunity to be dead just yet. however, it should interest you that two very close members of my family died a few weeks ago and am now in mourning mode.
this thing should resume once ive gone through the necessary purification and clensing ritual.
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