In The England

There was nothing interesting on the other channels last night so I watched the local eight o'clock news. The TV news crew was interviewing a Kelantanese man on the current debate and issues surrounding the teaching of maths and science in English in schools. The poor dude was caught off guard and simply said that it was important and even used the word 'global' or something like that. He was obviously confused as I was confused. Because I thought these two subjects were already taught in English. Didn't the government implement this like years ago and now there's a debate over it? I thought this shit was already cast in stone and shit!

And then I remembered a couple of mornings ago, down at the coffeeshop, over hearing that this issue is far from settled. It seems the powers that be also now wants English to be a compulsory subject to pass as a prerequisite to qualify to sit for the SPM. This of course did not go down well with certain quarters.

In the mind boggling of the workings of the country's politics, it also seems that the politicians and the the Education Minister himself remains unsure of how to go about this issue. Most importantly, it appears that they do not want to make rash decisions for fear of backlashes if the decision is unsavoury politically.

While still on the same news channel someone whose name escapes me now but all nicely dressed, suit and all and with the obvious politician pomp was interviewed next.

And he went like this - " soooooo...I know lah English subject tu very important. I dulu pun study in English jugak. Our children must be taught this subject. So, kite kat ministry faham sentiment orang kite. But we must understand the bigger picture. This is a very pressing issue. Ini isu penting. So, kita tak boleh politicise isu macam ni. We will discuss this with the minister and I will raise this matter up in the next sitting...".

I pressed the next button and a local soap production was on.

"... so, you know kan, yang dier tu tak nak consider kite punye suggestion. So, I discuss la dengan dier punye mother-in-law. So, you know, yang Managing Director tu...so dier agree lah dengan proposal kite tapi...tu lah...thats why..."

Sounds familiar?

I mean, is this because of habit or because these ones wants to impress people that they could speak in the england?

Aiyah, lets not kid ourselves, lah.

The King Is No More

So the king of pop is dead. And it should be a big deal. That's right. It should. Cos' he was the king of what is pop and all that.

I was a big fan back in the days. Even wore them white socks, yo. Did all that moon walk thing and even had the red jacket the king wore in that 'Beat It' vid. Not exactly it but definitely something close. Made in China or some shit like that.

He was a good person and for his sake, I hope he's in a better place. With lots of errr...nice young people.

But enough of the king.

Yesternight, I was at Alex's house for the ritual of burning of the pig face. It was also Alex's girl friend and soon to be fiance's birthday do. I arrived an hour late but in style as usual, preferring to miss all the compulsory prayers and Christian rituals of which Alex's parents are notoriously known for. On my appearance at the door, I was literally dragged to the table of purveyors of cheap malt and beer.

The pig face was nice, still piping hot and washed down with Label 5, some Tigers and Judy's - Alex girl friend for now and soon to be fiance - red and white offerings. She is a cultured woman, I observed. She only drink wine in the correct wine glasses, she says. She and her sister played the role of the good host-es, making sure our glasses were not empty.

The conversation at our table ranged from comely bastards to ugly bitches, strategies to tragedies and the possibility of Norman standing for the state election. Norman who is now in his late 30's sat three times for his SRP and had never passed.

And then the gods seemed to make a point and the storm was torrential. It was around this time that I forgot to engage brain before opening my mouth. I said, and very loudlytoo that back in the days, Alex and I could hold our beer to at least 27 cans before passing out. I may have also injected this story about a few of our young friends of the female persuasion to whom we became freindly. This was when Judy turned to me and gave me the glare.

The rest is now blurry.

But serves me right. And when this fine beauty of an Iban fix her glare at you, you may need the UTK boys for assistance. Her attention was now on me and I remember vaguely being served by the hospitable and very beautiful Judy and her sister malicious amount of malt and wine so when the first sign of everything about me began to spin, I drifted into slumber.

And obviously stopped talking. I think Judy was happy last night.

That FB Thing

This Facebook thing is really something, ain't it? It's something you either love or hate.

I hate it with the intensity of the sun. Sometimes.

Okay, maybe hate is a really strong word. I'd use another word, like fucking loathe but hate sums up my feelings rather accurately. And yet, somehow, Facebook has become a necessary evil of sorts. In fact, the only reason I signed up was to check on my old girl friends that I've lost contact with. Which was stupid because for a start, I dont remember most of their names now. I remember Angela Jane but thats it. I don't remember her last name and you know typing Angela Jane in the search engine would result in a few hundred Angela Janes. And since then, I have been inundated with superfluous information about people who I may or may not even remember and may or may not have even ever met.

Like recently, when I received a friend request from a friend but I'm just not sure that I need to know about how she did on her math quiz or what kind of a lover she is. I also received a request from another girl who insists we went to law school together and I don't even remember her. If I don't remember her (at all!) do I really need to know that she ate char kueh tiaw for breakfast this morning?

And how the hell did this thing evolved to the point where it's essentially taking over the world? This thing just about knows everything. And what it doesn't know, it surmises. Seriously, this thing is like a gossipy biatch (I use the term biatch loosely) who just can't keep anything to herfuckingself. And the inuendo that is attributed to anything you do is just fucking outrageous.

And not so long ago it announced to me (and the rest of the world) that Amy and Edward are now in a relationship. And I'm like what da fuck? Which is interesting since I know they've been married for years and have at least one kid.

And it further announced to the world that I had become friends with Firdaus. I guess the fact that we knew each other for like 4 years now doesn't account for anything.

So, here's the deal. I check this thing because I feel it has become a certain obligation. Because I have friends who comes and tells me that they've sent me messages on FB. I do this thing as I feel is necessary. But don't ask me to join your mafia group thing. Don't send me potted plants. I resent your cigarettes gift and shit. I don't want to hang your ornament on my tree because I don't have a fucking tree and I dont know how to have a tree. I have no fucking desire to be kidnapped and I don't even want to know which 80's movie defines me.

Does this make me odd, unique, weird, unacceptable? Maybe. But I'm really OK with that. If you want to say hello, drop me an email. Hell, pick up the fucking phone or something. Text me.

Send smoke signals, for fucking sakes.

Blankness

This 'clutter' in my head would be an understatement in describing the state of my mind right now. I feel like a zombie. Walking dead or some shit like that. This feeling is engulfing and nothing seems to go right anymore. Too many things, too many thoughts with none really concrete.

And the CD player thingy keeps playing the same song in a loop. And my mind keeps yearning for more of it. No, not once, twice but twenty three times. The same song, the same tune.

I woke up this morning with absolute blankness. Which was good.

But no sooner did I get up from bed, so many unwanted things rushed in, tiring my mind.

And I've forgotten to say my morning prayers. I do like to begin my day at peace with the Big G.

And too much shit rushing in too early in the day almost always ruins what could be a fairly good day for me. It makes me cranky. But its okay. Even if these stuff crashes my mind, it is still my shit. I entertained these thoughts. Thoughts which were better left...errrr...un-thought.

I would like to wake up with nothing in my head every morning.

And right now I need to get rid of this clutter. There is a need to sweep the floor up there...

Sweeeeeeeep...

Sharing

It's Sunday and I feel good, spiritually. How to describe being in such state eludes me and I really don't know. It is a spiritual thing. But since I was in church today and did the Christian thing, plus the fact that that I behaved for the whole week, I should be entitle to this feeling of being spiritually good inside. I think.

But I just feel good. Good, because that's how one should feel on a hot, lazy Sunday such as today. Also, because Sunday is designated by Allah or Yahweh or Jah or Elohai to be a day of rest. And you may agree that taking time to rest is always good.

And because it is Sunday today, it is also good to share things with other people and I would like to share a little something with you. Sharing, as you know, is also always a good thing.

This is something I got in my email box a couple of weeks back. And this one reads...

"...In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas.

The Bible says - 'The Lord thy God is one'...but I think He must be a lot older than that. Anyway, God said, 'Give me a light!' And someone did.

Then God made the world. He split Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren't embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been invented yet. And then Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden...not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn't have cars.

Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel. Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something. One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a Ham.

Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check. After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some stupid pot roast.

Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat. He tried to start a fashion statement but that didn't work.

Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh's people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable.

God fed the Israel Lights every day with some kind of pasta. Then he gave them His Top Ten Commandments. These include - don't lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbor's stuff. And oh, yeah, I just thought of one more - Humor thy father and thy mother.

One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use spies. How cool is that? And Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town.

After Joshua came David. He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn't sound very wise to me.

After Solomon, there were a bunch of big time prophets. One of these was this dude called Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed up on the shore. There were also some small time prophets, but I guess we don't have to worry about them.

After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the star of The New. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn. And I wish I had been born in a barn too, because my mom is always saying to me, 'Close the door! Were you born in a barn?'

It would be nice to say, 'As a matter of fact, I was.'

During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the guys from the opposition party. Jesus also had twelve opossums. The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him.

Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount. But the Pharisees and guys from the opposition parties put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didn't stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead.

Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again. He went up to heaven but will be back at the end of the aluminum and His return is foretold in the book of Revolution..."

End

This story, I think is a good story.

Time Out

Time now is 9:37 in the PM.

I feel the urge and I ask myself if I should. But I did what I had to do today and I'm happy. Nothing much. The usual shit.

And now, I need to reward myself.

The plus side about living this life the way I do is how I always remember to take time out and stop whatever shit I'm doing and devote my attention to something more important.

Like sitting at the bar drinking a few cold beers.

And so, I will go.

In Cervesio Felisitas.

Good night.

Pening

The time tells me it's 3:17 in the PM and that evil pounding on the lining of my cerebral cortex is still there. When I looked in the mirror this morning, I saw a vein pulsing in my forehead.

A good buddy from up north was in town last night and he professes to be a fine purveyor of single malt. And so, over dinner of three kinds of different exotic fish whose names I fail to register we had a bottle of Brooch-lagh-dickeh. Or something like that. And a few big cats on the side.

I'm much better from just now but not out of it yet. I really must remind myself not to mix good malt with equally good hop.

I've been sitting here, behind my desk since this am and its quiet in the office. And just for the record, I have not done anything worth calling work since I walked in. The pounding in my head...its critical. And I've been thinking.

Remember when you were in uni and you just knew where you'd be by the time you hit 30? I knew I would have slept with at least 20 women. Virgins and the rest of them. I knew I'd be working in some big ass corporation or something. Donning a suit and all that shit. I also knew I'd be making loads of money and driving a sports car. I knew I'd be traveling the world. I knew I'd have accomplished enough to be interesting.

But here I am and thinking, what the flying fuck happened? I mean, like what da farrrrkkkkk!!!

Here I am, finding myself closer to 40 than 30, and I'm feeling just a teeny weeny bit disconcerted. I'm not some big time corporate figure or some shit like that, don't earn millions, don't think I slept with that many women and the rides I've purchased over the years are all pre loved stuff.

What do people do when they need to shake things up a bit?

Just Crazy

I've just gone through a few months of craziness and no matter how you define it, it is still crazy. What with the passing of two love ones last February and that was one crazy episode.

Times like these, I would typically long for the return of normalcy. Tonight, however, I sit here exhausted. Both physically and mentally, but I'm cool. Despite this sense of being completely spent, I know I have no desire to have things fully return to their previous state. I've already encountered many moments of truth in the past few months and especially the past few weeks.

Sometimes life gets crazy. Other times, its gets really fucking crazy. I've experienced crazy in many forms and the annoying part is, I feel so sure I'm going to continue down this winding path of weird and wild events.

I think I might be one of those people for whom life is destined to be a super crazy ride. I guess I'll just have to learn to enjoy the scenery.

Good night.

Fools

I didn't know until just now that in some part of the world this day is made a holiday. April Fools holiday, man. Can you believe this shit? A fucking holiday. I think this day is possibly the most irritating day of the entire year because I hate practical jokes and having a day designated just for this day is fucking cruel. Getting high duping someone and making that someone feel foolish is not just stupid, it's also not funny. Okay, so I hate this day and I am a gullible person. Don't like? Go fuck something then.

This day is just so pointless I feel there is no point to even talk about this day. I mean, why? and why must some people be stupid on just this day? And some even pretend so fucking hard while at it.

Valentines day, I really try to understand and I do have a raging hatred for it but April fool's day? What the fuck is the deal on this one? Whats the concept?

And what kind of demon thought of this dumb day anyway?

My Day

I don't like birthdays. Like I don't like what is Valentine day and sometimes Easter.

Everyone around me expects me to enjoy birthdays and relish getting older, but I don't see it that way. I mean it's not like you just wake up one morning and is magically older and wiser. Life is a fucking process and most times you can't help it but fuck things up. Thats what life's about. Its about fucking things up.

And so, today on mine, I'll try to reflect on what I've fucked up, which is a plenty and try not to put so much stock into what the day means to everyone else.

I just don't get some birthday people. They have this idea/concept that the day should be treated as the biggest fucking deal in the world. I have on a few occasion disappoint many friends and families by not attending birthday parties and shit and have also been accused for not being sensitive to other peoples feelings because I simply forgotten their birthdays.

Take what happened a couple of months ago when I received a message in my Facebook Inbox thing from a dear friend of mine. She thought it was odd that I was not among the many wall-to-wall birthday well wishers. But maybe it’s me, and I’m just a fucking terrible person but when I read that, I was like whadafuck and tried to compose something equally scathing about how fucking low I thought she is for still behaving like a four-year-old about fucking birthdays. But I'm not like that. So I issued an apology and told her I don't really log into my facebook account on a daily basis like most people and hence had missed her birthday prompt and that was that. For her birthday extravaganza this year, I think I shall throw a birthday cake at her on that Superpoke thing and write on her wall just so everyone would know that it is indeed her birthday. Maybe I'll leave her a comment.

Because everyone should know when it’s your birthday.

I just don’t get it.

Me? I'll do the same shit I did last year and the years before that.

Nothing.