A Noble Conjecture

I constantly torment myself with my burgeoning intelect...sometimes I wet my pants.

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Location: Gomorah, Sodom

I recognise my indulgence in alcohol is a cause of concern. I am equally distraught at my incorrigible insistence to partake in the celebration of my continued sluggish state brought upon by self inflicted and militaristic penchant for mindless mutilation. And you may go ahead and assume that God loves you more but He wants you to know that I am still his favourite.

Monday, April 07, 2008

Two Squirrels

Two Saturdays ago, I took out my axe to cut some logs I left out to dry behind my hut. I grabbed one and found it was already brittle and after the first cut, the bloody thing split in half exposing what looked like a nest. A squirrel's nest and in it were these two lovely babies. Curled up and sleeping. Taking pity and suddenly overwhelmed by guilt at my intrusion of what was their humble abode, I took the two little ones into my care and arranged for a new home. It wasn't much except it had special features like security grilles and plastic flooring.

I gave them milk and food. Bananas but mostly fruits. They looked weak and were barely moving the first few days. One played dead for two days straight and when I was just about to give up on the little guy, it actually moved and both were soon displaying antics common amongst their kind like shitting and making noises like this - YIK! YIK! YIK!. I have already thought of future plans for the two, one of which was to transfer them into a bigger and more comfortable dwelling complete with those spinning wheels and stairs and maybe separate rooms if they felt like it. The other was to fatten them up so that...they will be fat.

But last Saturday night while sleeping, The One Who Sends delivered to me in my dreams a screaming tortoise tied with a yellow ribbon on its neck. In bold and loud voice, it reprimanded me for my inconsiderate act and said that there was an ongoing SAR-Ops (Search And Rescue Operations) on the two missing member. It commended me though, for not being as heartless and for actually feeding them and making sure their well being were taken care of. However, I was given clear instructions to release the two immediately lest the 'wrath of a thousand squirrels' were to be set on me.

I remember later waking up in the middle of the night covered in sweat and got up headed to the bathroom. I brushed aside what I thought at the time was just a dream but when I saw two very small prints of squirrels on the top right side of the small pocket of my made-in-Indonesia T shirt, I got worried. Okay, maybe they were crocodiles or maybe even two parrots but that's not the issue. The point is, there were two animals printed on my shirt pocket. I took that as a sign.

So yesterday morning after church, I fed the two little fellows for the last time and bade them well. Told them of the dangers outside and about my neighbour's cat, Jazzy and how one afternoon I saw him proudly carrying one of their kind, very dead, in his mouth. I wished them luck and hope they get reunited with their parents.

It really is a jungle out there behind my hut and they really need to be careful.

5 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Those were squirrels in the cage? When I went there last Saturday, I thought they were mutated hamsters. I don't particularly like hamsters. Squirrels are okay though your proposal of putting in the wheels and stairs in their cage, thus doing the hamster thing is hardly appropriate for squirrels.

I think you've misinterpreted the dream of screaming tortoise with a yellow ribbon on its neck. It basically means "keep it till it grows up - 1 or 2 month's old - and then, release it". You probably only heard the "release it" part because The One Who Sends usually speak in Pibloktok, which may sometimes be hysterically confusing...like in your case. So, imagine how the two fellow would be roaming aimlessly in the wild, without any jungle skill because their home got damaged and lived in a cage, and searching for their mummy while screaming their YIK YIK YIK thus attracting your neighbor's cat.

Moral of the story: learn Pibloktok fluently before releasing squirrels.

Tuesday, 08 April, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I used to have one when I was like less than 3 yr old. It died under anaesthetic when I tried to bring it onto a plane =(

Tuesday, 08 April, 2008  
Blogger Demented said...

langkau : damn that screaming tortise lah! i forgot it speaks pibloktok and not miltogok version 3.9 of which i am more fluent. damn you screaming tortise!

irry : awwww...poor thing!

Wednesday, 09 April, 2008  
Blogger Arth Akal said...

altogether now, "aaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwww......"

Wednesday, 09 April, 2008  
Blogger Demented said...

arth : you should try squirrel meat, kanid. is very nice. is true.

Monday, 14 April, 2008  

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