Older

And so its that day of the year again. Another year older.

I really resent this day with the intensity of the sun. I don't mean I hate the very day I was born but of course on some days I really wish I was not. And yes, I sometimes do agree with my momma when she should have just fed me to the fish when I was born. But you see, its those people who creeps from behind and jump on me while screaming their lungs out just so I am reminded of the day that really fucks my mind up.

And having so many young pre adults and juveniles as cousins who actually keep tabs on the dates of every cousins and uncles and aunts and grand uncles and grand aunts birthdays doesn't really help.

But honestly, I feel like I am twenty two still. I think what I hate most is that I am creeping up on forty.

I was alright with having this day as long as I was on the right side of the number. I keep feeling I'm on the wrong side of mine. Why the fuck is that?

Fifty is the age that really freaks me out. I was fine with turning thirty. It was not a big deal and I never understood why some had issues with turning thirty or forty. I think I will probably like forty but when I turn fifty I will be turning fifty kicking and screaming.

Maybe I will warm up to the idea over the next couple of years but as of right now I don't like it.

Suddenly I feel friggin' old. Shit!