April Crap's Crap

If you ask me, I'm actually really sick of all this 1st of April crap. I despise it and that statement is not meant to be exaggerayedly thespian or histrionic. It is a statement of fact and the same as I like blow jobs, you have nice tits, tiger beer is the best in the world or the colour of my underwear today is red. I just fail to understand the fascination some people have with this day when they actually don't even know what's it all about. And the why. I shall not tell you because you can google it, bitch!!!

My take on this day - This is the one day of the year that people with no fucking sense of humour try to be fucking funny. Period.

And its no wonder the results almost always is not actually pretty. I mean, for the rest of us who act like fools on the other 364 days a year, it just seems pretty sad for these poor suckers who can't be funny to save their fucking ass.

The people who get all worked up into this day are, in my humble opinion (I was really tempted to type IMHO but that would be stupid) are like those who are seen in church only on Christmas and Easter. For these ones, this is all the spiritual link to whatever is spirtitual in their lives. The spiritual pinacle of their lives, sort to speak. The rest of the year, they are just like all the heathens. But on Christmas and Easter...whhhoooaaahhh!!! Look out, make fucking way! Them is church-going, godly folks. Ah-men!

Well, it's just the same for the people who dig this day. These people don't have no humor in their lives throughout the year and then all of a sudden, they think they can just be fucking funny for one day. Some people, I was told, even make early preparations for the day. Can you believe this shit???

Ha-fucking-har!!!

Look, fuckers, it just doesn't work that way. Humor, IMHO (fuck, I cannot believe I just tyoed that) is like Christianity. It is something you need to work at, practice, nurture. You can't just wake up on the 1st of April and decide you can be funny. Like you can't just be a Christian for one day of the year. You just end up looking stupid. No. I think, pathetic and sad.

Consider this. The phone rings and the secretary walks to your room and tells you that big bossman wants to see you for a ciggy break at the toilet. You go and find no one there. You walk back to the office and before you could ask, the secretary is all smiles and fucking scream "You got punked!" and think that was the most hilarious thing to happen since that monkey who plays the cymbals.

I mean, but really, "You got punked???".

I was like, what the flying fuck? "You got punked" didn't even sound right.

And thats exactly what this lady did to me at work today. I wasn't at all amused. For her sake, I tried my utmost best to feel stupid.

I mean, you want something remotely funny? Just listen to that two dudes on Hitz FM in the morning and you'll know that these dudes are friggin funny. Now, they're funny, funny. Period.

Here's the bottom line - you need to practice humor in your daily lives. Study it, live it, read it, be it. Fucking go grab that Complete Idiot's Guide To Be An Ass or get it somewhere else. Just get that fucking humor.

Your colleagues will thank you for it.

I shall end this with a quote by the great St. Stupid - "The stupidity that can be spoken is dumb"

Best regards and terima kaseh.