Sukses, Pak!

I like good news. Good news makes me happy.

I didn't mention that when we finally reached the finishing line at Kampung Git, we did not stop to find out the position of our team of very able raftronauts. We were just too tired to stay and mingle with the hordes of people that were already there. The music was blaring, people were smiling and we...we were oblivious to our surrounding. We were in very great pain.

But always the optimist and when we finally arrived by the grace of all river gods, I counted the raft crafts that were stacked along the banks of the river. There wasn't many and I was sure we didn't do that bad despite ourselves. I remember saying we should be no. 37 but 1st Raft Commander Robert wasn't impressed and told us to pack quickly and leave. And we left.

But yesterday I was told by Kanid Kelvin that we were placed at No. 29 officially. Not bad!!! We didn't win anything obviously but considering there were 64 other teams struggling behind us, I think we did good. Our team was 6 position shy of the last consolation prize of MYR100.00.

I'd say we didn't do that bad at all.

Cheesy

Last weekend the Ruby, Letita, Ginelle, Zubaidah and all manners of everything feminine kicked in leaving me with very little choice but to heed the call. It was the time of the month again. And each time this happens, I feel the need to bake. I haven't baked an unadorned, no-frills cheesecake for the longest time and rummaging through my fridge, I found enough ingredients to bake one. I know I owe a certain someone a cheesecake but rest assured that I had you in mind when I did this.

When it comes to baking, and especially cheesecake, I like to experiment a little. I remember a bar of cooking and white chocolate tucked somewhere in the fridge and this gave me an idea. This one turned out to be nice if you're into 'chocolaty' cheesecakes.

I don't conform to convention when it comes to baking and therefore, I shall not bore you with the intricacy of the correct measurement of what goes into making a good cheesecake.

You will need :-

But before you start anything, please pre heat your oven. If your oven has a baking dish / rack, fill it to the top with water. Why? Because, my momma told me so. But really, this is to ensure the moisture consistency in the cake later on. In the baking world, this is refered to as giving the cake a water bath or something like that. Moving on...

Crust

1. Biskut Marie - enough to cover the base of a medium size springform
2. Butter - a little bit, melted (Get a saucepan filled with water and in a separate sauce pan add butter, put butter saucepan into the boiling water and let it melt)
3. Cinnamon

Filling

1. Cream cheese (I use only Philadelphia but Anchor will also do)
2. Cooking chocolate - if you have a whole bar, break in half and melt
3. White chocolate - same as No. 2
4. Flour - a cup
5. Brown sugar - a cup
6. Eggs - 6
7. Sour cream
8. Vanilla essence

Now, crush the Biskut Marie finely, add cinnamon to your liking and pour in melted butter. Get a springform pan and press evenly at the bottom with a spoon. Throw this in the freezer. [Alternatively, you may also want to use Graham cookies and chocolate muffin processed and mix well. You may also want to add bits of walnuts.]

Cream cheese and brown sugar in your electric mixer until smooth. Add eggs one by one. Pour in a bit of vanilla essence. I didn't have sour cream and I was arsed to go search for one so I used a little bit of fresh yogurt instead. Shift in the flour. I used a little flour and not starch as I usually do but I'm not remorseful or anything but flour gave it the right texture and besides, I was out of starch.

Next, pour mixture in two separate bowls. Pour melted white chocolate into one and mix well. Take your melted cooking chocolate, pour in the other mixture and do likewise.

Take out the crust from the freezer and pour in your white chocolate mixture in first followed by the errrr...the other mixture. Slowly.

A little tip - pour enough water in a baking tray and let your cheesecake bake at say, 140 degrees Celsius say, for 90 minutes or until the top is brown. DO NOT!!! I type again, DO NOT open the oven door too soon. Let the cake cool down say, for an hour. This is to prevent it from cracking while preserving a rich uniform texture.

Take it out and while still in the springform leave in the fridge for a whole day before serving.

This one turned out to be amazingly nice. If you have strawberry glaze, it should go very well with it. The texture was moist and delicate and the cheese literally melts in the mouth.

Perfect for those of you who just want your tongue to do the work.

Rafting

A few months ago, my kanid Kelvin enticed me into joining this river rafting programme which incidentally was to start at Kampung Danu, a village of which I've gotten very much acquainted with. Kanid Kelvin, who is no stranger to this sort of river mission had also organised two other raft participants. I didn't think twice at the offer and agreed. And so I put my John Hancock on the piece of paper relinquishing all liabilities against the organiser should I sustain any injuries, fatal or otherwise.

I was on my way to become a RAFTRONAUT.

In anticipation of my very first involvement at a river safari, I did absolutely nothing. Did not bother to find out what the course was like nor the obstacles that it offered. I knew my raft commander's well. Except for Majinko who hails from Kampung Sadir, the other two raft commanders have recorded numerous river missions. This is true in the case of 1st Raft Commander Robert from Kampung Danu. That was sufficient enough to boost my confidence that I will have to do absolutely nothing while on board our craft. As for yours truly, I don't remember the last time I actually held a paddle.

So early last Saturday morning, we drove to Kampung Sadir to pick 2nd Raft Commander Majinko. A couple from Holland we met at the Ruai a few nights before hopped along.

While at Majinko's village we did the obligatory langkau and introduced to our guest some of our more exotic food like smoked bearcat meat and the like. It was already late and having already consumed our langkau quota, we decided to leave for Kampung Danu but not before making another obligatory stop at this little cafe in Kampung Annah Rais - Sunshine Cafe - where we had frog legs and more bearcat meat with Bee Gees and Abba songs in the background.

The atmosphere at Kampung Danu that Saturday night was best described as fun. Stalls selling beer and langkau were set up near the village hall. Enough to get a whole village drunk in harmony. There was even a local band which played our favourite song - Madu, for at least 17 times that night. The dancing and drinking went on till late and I think I may have had too much to drink that night. Kanid Kelvin and I turned in at around 4:00am long after the generators were turned off and the familliar quietness and serene enveloped the village. Time check - T minus 4 hours before countdown.

And so at the ungodly hour of 7 in the morning, we struggled to the river bank where our craft waited for us. I was told there were at least 93 other crafts of various designs there that morning and while waiting for our turn to launch, we rested. I swear the very earth under which I laid seemed to move, to the accompaniment of a throbbing headache best measured on the richter scale.

Eventually our launch code 130 was called and we assumed our position. I suddenly felt a need for a cigarette and lit one. 2nd Raft Commander Majinko whispered to me and confessed that just like me, he had forgotten when he last held a paddle. I knew then it was going to be a long journey ahead. Minutes just before launch, 3rd Raft Commander Kelvin finally briefed us on our mission - [ Plan A - stopping at Kampung Semedang, half way into the journey and seacrh for more langkau]. There was no Plan B.

We were still very much in 'high spirits' when finally our motley crew of fine young raftronouts were cleared to go. Just in case we started hallucinating, 3rd Raft Commander Kelvin managed to sneak in a small bottle of langkau on board.

And then we were on our way into the unknown. An hour or so into the journey, with four or five raftcrafts passing us by, every inch of my delicate body started to cry out in pain. I just wanted to stop. Kampung Semedang then came into sight but 1st Raft Commander Robert declared that he was in a competative mood and demanded we continued on. And we did. Reluctantly.

We finally arrived at Kampung Git 3 hours and 26KM later. 45 minutes after the first raftcraft arrived which was, in my humble opinion, an achievement.

Yes, the whole paddling thing was gruesome and punishing to the body but the sights and scenery along the river was just simply breathtaking.

And as I type this entry, my body is still aching and I can't even sit properly. Ohhhhhh...the pain.

Blow It

Excuse me, but what is it with the hoooo-fucking-haaaaa about this doctor we just blasted into space?

And some are even refering to him as an astronaut. Asfuckingtronaut, people!!! Oh, I'm sorry...the word should be angksawakan. Sorry. Ang-kas-wan-nan. Nope...doesn't sound right either. Angsku...ahhhhhh, fuck it!!!

But seriously, an astronaut??? If you didn't know, Yuri and later Neil, Michael, Edwin and those other men and women who made it on board the first Apollo, Vostoks and successive space crafts...these men and women are the real deal astronauts/cosmonauts. They come with titles like Space Commander, Space Commander Backup and other really fancy titles. Not 'Flight Participant'. Do you remember the teacher who was on the ill fated Challenger? She was never referred to as an astronaut. Just simply a 'teacher in space'.

Amazing!!!

But lets cut the guy some slack shall we. The guy we just sent up there, we can just call him our very own Malaysian angwaskawana. It sounds better if we call him that. Lets not confuse ourselves. Not an astronaut but an angsawakan. Why, you ask? Simply because we don't have a word for 'space tourist' or 'space traveller' or 'space flight participant'...yet.

And because it wouldn't be right to refer to him as a 'pelancong angkasa' now, would it? Wouldn't do for a person who will be soon conferred the English equivalent of a knighthood, now would it? Wouldn't go well if you so choose to proudly tell your friends that we have just sent our very first space tourist in space because that just wouldn't do. Besides, 'pelancong angkasa' doesn't have any scientific ring to it.

Maybe we will have a proper word for a space tourist in the very near future after we spend another MYR95,000,000 on the next very qualified individual. Because by then, we Malaysian would have evolved. And calling the person a space tourist would be alright.

And I was told that he will be doing some research up there too.

That's right. Conducting some sort of research, I was told. For two bloody weeks. I mean, come on!!! Research??? Two weeks???

For MYR95,000,000!!!

I suddenly feel sick.

I forgot. He's also going to introduce one or two of our very own culinary delights to the real astronauts while he's there. On top of that, he is to play traditional children games in zero gravity. One of which will be gasing.

O.K. Now I need to go and puke.

My Favourite AV

In the last hour - its 12:47am now - I only thought about you. Fifteen and a half times twice.

I thought of your slender legs. Your thighs clad in jeans or skirted fabric swirling or stockings. I thought of the way your knees would touch when you're driving. The way your ankles curl when you walk - but then I stopped thinking of your legs. The curve of the back of your knee causes my attention to slip quickly. Quietly to the soft of your spine down your backside - and I get easily distracted there, so I try not to think of your lovely, lovely long legs.

Five times I thought of your luminous smile, the way your cheek would feel like silk, like velvet, like ice cream melting when you've just come in from the cold Osaka night air.

Once I thought about twirling you on the dance floor but then maybe you don't dance.

Three and a half times I thought about the curve of your hips, the bone of your pelvis and how it fits next to mine like puzzle pieces. Like the cap of a pen clicks onto the barrel. Like a condom snapping fit onto...you get the drift.

Once I thought of that look you gave me when I stared at my HP monitor screen (Hewlett Packard rocks to the power of 75, yo), which seems to say, take me and I'm yours and I love you and I wish you were inside me right now and I still feel you everywhere (or maybe that's what my look said) and I wanted to jump, dive, claw, climb out of my chair over to you, push that ugly looking bastard - sometimes there are two - out of the way so I could taste you, put my hands on your skin, hear to you gasp, breathe into my ear and hold you close.

Once I thought of the way your fingertips feel on my neck, casual, the way you leave them there while we sit, you in your kimono and I in...whatever they call that thing. You know, that Japanese robe thingy the men wears.

Four times I thought of that way you laugh when you're nervous, gentle and slow, while your eyes dance, searching for recognition, searching for someone to see you.

Fifteen and a half times isn't very many considering how many hours your magic, your thrilling smoky voice, your sweet smile, your raw insight have taken flight, settling your images in my mind hour after hour after hour....after hour....after hour...

Shit!!! Now, how did my fingers get sticky...

Local TV

I don’t really watch a lot of TV because I would prefer to socialise and spend time with my friends doing fun things, like drinking copious amount of beer or langkau and eating carcinogen laced food before falling in the front door and getting to bed before I realise I need to vomit.

But last night, for circumstances I simply cannot reveal, I found myself at home with nothing to do but watch TV.

O.K, so I left Ruai early but thats because my partner in crime is still detoxing after last weekend mega drinking down at the village. And because this guy walked in, sat next to me at the bar and although he's a nice person hypothetically, the person can sometimes be such a pain in the arse.

So I saw the local news and there was a bit of EPL on and you can’t really go wrong with football. And that bit happening in Myanmar. I feel sorry for the folks there and it's when watching shit like this that makes me appreciate the kind of induced peaceful easy feeling that I have being where I am. And then I turned over to RTM 2 and got caught up in a strange local programme called ‘Wawancara’.

Basically what happens is the presenter and four others sit around and talk about the events of the week and try very hard to make jokes and stuff like that. I should clarify that. They sit around and try and be more intelligent than the last person to talk. The presenter is a big fat man, I don’t know his name, who labours under the assumption that all fat people are happy and funny. There was also a woman called NorDianasumtingsumthing who I’ve never heard of either. Should I have heard of her? Does anyone know who she is or what she does?

So they brought on this guest. Some girl who apparently acted in a few local soaps who I’ve never heard of. She is definitely pretty to look at and I couldn't help but fantasize doing the horizontal lambada with her...and then I slept.

Next thing I knew, I woke up still in my office garb, droplets of sweat on my forehead and I swear my pants was wet. The clock showed 2:15am. Fuck!!!

Anyway, suffice to say I won’t be watching TV again in a hurry. Thanks, 'Wawancara', for confirming my long-held belief that I’m better of slowly destroying my liver at the pub.