Kampung Sadir, Alaska and Moonshine

I can still taste the langkau on my lips when I woke up this morning.

Kelvin took me and David, our Alaskan connection to Kampung Sadir, a Bidayuh village about 2 hours drive from the city yesterday afternoon. David is a cool dude even though he's an American. He's a testament that not all Americans are stupid and generally, arse holes.

You see, I met David last week at Havana. Kelvin, who so decided to break away from tradition and do his drinking in a proper place instead, called that afternoon. He asked if I knew of any decent place to have a drink in the city. I told him Havana was the closest the city had to offer to what we envision a decent pub would be. At least they didn't play loud and stupid music.

Kelvin and I go a long way. To the time when we were still kids and oh, so filled with innocence.

And so while waiting for him to arrive, I made small talk with this nice American tourist who was seated at the bar. He told me he didn't vote for Bush which was good reason enough to continue talking to him. Enter David Lama from Alaska.

And so when Kelvin arrived, we made plans for the weekend and included our new Alaskan grizzly friend in. He was more than delighted on the prospect of meeting the locals and actually going to a village.

So last Sunday, we took off. We stopped at a make shift coffee shop along the way and ordered some Tiger to kick start. Stopped again at another village shop to purchase a bottle of langkau. I didn't know that it was illegal to sell these in the open and so the proprietor who was this old man and easily in his late 70's reached behind this cupboard in the corner of his small outfit and took out what we came for.

Upon arrival at Sadir, the village folks enthusiastically greeted Kelvin and his entourage. Something worthy of a rock band. Kelvin is no stranger to the people there and I was informed that on one or two occasion he was too inebriated to drive back and had to spend the night. He is treated like a celebrity. Everyone knows him. I knew right then that I was in safe hands. The village folks, made such a fuss of our presence that they went back to their individual quarters and presented to us baskets of rambutans, buah mawangs and durians. David, the friendly grizzly gobbled as much durians he could which I think was amazing. Oh, then there is this whole bunch of petai that he enjoyed so much too. The rounds of langkau went freely among the village young men and women who were with us on the long house common veranda. The village hunter then took out a plate of fermented wild boar meat which I found was a bit too salty for my liking but went quite well with the moonshine.

The kids loved the grizzly and he clowned around acting like a bear trying his best to scare them but I think he was just drunk. It was our queue to go.

White man can't jump and neither can they climb slippery slopes of little hills. On our drive back on the winding gravel road, Kelvin stopped his car so we can take in the beautiful view surrounding us. The best view, of course had to be from a high point which was on this little slope. Kelvin and I instinctively walked towards the slope, with David the Alaskan grizzly in tow. He was trying his best to keep up. We were already on top when we turned to look behind us to find the grizzly slipping continuously on each effort he made to get to us. It was a sad sight. He eventually made it with a little help.

Especially, in the evenings and everytime after it rains, the view from where we were can be breathtaking.

White men are funny. They are strange. They get even strange-er after a few rounds of langkau. I swear, because David collapsed and rolled on the dirt as soon as he got to the top. If we left him lying there he wouldn't have minded. He even asked to be left alone as he was sure now the savages of Sarawak were not as bad as he was made to believe.

We are nice people and so we told him to haul ass because it was time to hit the waters. We drove a bit further and stopped by this river. But really, I have seen naked white men before in my life but I've never seen one as ugly as our good Alaskan friend. He cooly took of his pants, smiled and slowly went in. Honestly, I was scared. I was fucking scared.

Fuckers, use your imagination and tell me if you won't be. Big grizzly...big, drunk, grizzly...big, drunk, grizzly with a fucking huge dick. And in the fucking waters with us!!! The water was only knee high so every time he fucking stood up, his fucking huge dick was fucking dangling like a fucking bell. Literally. But that's not the point, you see. There were some other shiny metallic things hanging from his grossly looking manliness as well!!!

NOTE : Nothing out of the ordinary happened whilst we were in the river.