That FB Thing

This Facebook thing is really something, ain't it? It's something you either love or hate.

I hate it with the intensity of the sun. Sometimes.

Okay, maybe hate is a really strong word. I'd use another word, like fucking loathe but hate sums up my feelings rather accurately. And yet, somehow, Facebook has become a necessary evil of sorts. In fact, the only reason I signed up was to check on my old girl friends that I've lost contact with. Which was stupid because for a start, I dont remember most of their names now. I remember Angela Jane but thats it. I don't remember her last name and you know typing Angela Jane in the search engine would result in a few hundred Angela Janes. And since then, I have been inundated with superfluous information about people who I may or may not even remember and may or may not have even ever met.

Like recently, when I received a friend request from a friend but I'm just not sure that I need to know about how she did on her math quiz or what kind of a lover she is. I also received a request from another girl who insists we went to law school together and I don't even remember her. If I don't remember her (at all!) do I really need to know that she ate char kueh tiaw for breakfast this morning?

And how the hell did this thing evolved to the point where it's essentially taking over the world? This thing just about knows everything. And what it doesn't know, it surmises. Seriously, this thing is like a gossipy biatch (I use the term biatch loosely) who just can't keep anything to herfuckingself. And the inuendo that is attributed to anything you do is just fucking outrageous.

And not so long ago it announced to me (and the rest of the world) that Amy and Edward are now in a relationship. And I'm like what da fuck? Which is interesting since I know they've been married for years and have at least one kid.

And it further announced to the world that I had become friends with Firdaus. I guess the fact that we knew each other for like 4 years now doesn't account for anything.

So, here's the deal. I check this thing because I feel it has become a certain obligation. Because I have friends who comes and tells me that they've sent me messages on FB. I do this thing as I feel is necessary. But don't ask me to join your mafia group thing. Don't send me potted plants. I resent your cigarettes gift and shit. I don't want to hang your ornament on my tree because I don't have a fucking tree and I dont know how to have a tree. I have no fucking desire to be kidnapped and I don't even want to know which 80's movie defines me.

Does this make me odd, unique, weird, unacceptable? Maybe. But I'm really OK with that. If you want to say hello, drop me an email. Hell, pick up the fucking phone or something. Text me.

Send smoke signals, for fucking sakes.