My Day

I don't like birthdays. Like I don't like what is Valentine day and sometimes Easter.

Everyone around me expects me to enjoy birthdays and relish getting older, but I don't see it that way. I mean it's not like you just wake up one morning and is magically older and wiser. Life is a fucking process and most times you can't help it but fuck things up. Thats what life's about. Its about fucking things up.

And so, today on mine, I'll try to reflect on what I've fucked up, which is a plenty and try not to put so much stock into what the day means to everyone else.

I just don't get some birthday people. They have this idea/concept that the day should be treated as the biggest fucking deal in the world. I have on a few occasion disappoint many friends and families by not attending birthday parties and shit and have also been accused for not being sensitive to other peoples feelings because I simply forgotten their birthdays.

Take what happened a couple of months ago when I received a message in my Facebook Inbox thing from a dear friend of mine. She thought it was odd that I was not among the many wall-to-wall birthday well wishers. But maybe it’s me, and I’m just a fucking terrible person but when I read that, I was like whadafuck and tried to compose something equally scathing about how fucking low I thought she is for still behaving like a four-year-old about fucking birthdays. But I'm not like that. So I issued an apology and told her I don't really log into my facebook account on a daily basis like most people and hence had missed her birthday prompt and that was that. For her birthday extravaganza this year, I think I shall throw a birthday cake at her on that Superpoke thing and write on her wall just so everyone would know that it is indeed her birthday. Maybe I'll leave her a comment.

Because everyone should know when it’s your birthday.

I just don’t get it.

Me? I'll do the same shit I did last year and the years before that.

Nothing.

God is Good

I swore off reading the local papers a long time ago. There just too many wasted pages for so many politician spilling out bad bullshit. I don't even read the ones from the west side anymore because if I wanted to read bullshit, and I mean really good bullshit, I'd read blogs and sometimes alternative news portals which often offers lots of really good bullshit. Better bullshit right there, if you ask me.

These days, the only physical contact I have with our local papers is while I'm taking a dump. And only to check on the lottery results. I remember one fine morning tearing a section off when the toilet paper rolls were out and so I used that. It's good for that too.

And just the other day, while taking a dump and checking through the 6/49 results, I was yet again disappointed. The ticket naturally found its way in between my legs and onto my pile of shit. Flipping to the local news section, I read this headline :

"Dam project Gods gift, says assemblymen".

I laughed so hard and I haven't even read the contents. And I laughed harder when the report quoted him saying - "...we must be able to recognise when a good thing comes our way. This is one of the good things. If we turn our back on it, no matter how much we cry for development to come our way, we may have to wait for another 50 years or more for an opportunity like this to come again...".

We cry, did you say? And I'm like whatdafuck.

By the time I read this - "...this billion-ringgit HEP project is the answer to our prayers for development for our people. This is God’s gift to our people. Why must we reject something good? This will change the fate of our community. Of course, the present generation will have to make a few sacrifices to make it a success..." - I was already foaming at my mouth. Epilepsy or some shit like that because I was just laughing my fucking guts out. While taking a dump.

Ah, well, the next time I meet old Simo from Kampung Pain Bojong I'll tell him that a certain politician wants him to be more appreciative of God's gift. I mean, God can't be wrong about gifts and especially the ones which are good.