18 and 17

David, a hybrid Australian - of Iban and Scottish parents was in town and asked me last week if I could bring him over to the village, any village he said. He's a cousin somehow and it beats me how we're related but never mind that. He lives in Melbourne and comes back to the motherland once every few years and since he just turned legal this year, I thought why not.

And yesterday at noon, I drove over to his house to pick him up. On my way, he texted me and said if it was sweet if he could take his equally hybrid Australian girlfriend along. And because I'm a nice person, I said ok.

I arrived at the house and both hopped into my ride. And like kids should, both were very excited. Okay...I must admit that the cousin's girlfriend was beautiful and I just couldn't take my eyes off her. Silly me but suffice to say that my good judgement was clouded as always. I have this weakness you see, when it comes to beautiful things. And just before we left she made it a point that she was up for a little bit of drinking. I knew then I was in trouble.

We went to the waterfalls and did justice to a bottle of that good spirit, langkau, with the ususal suspects and left for the village after an hour or so. I think it was the langkau that induced David and girlfriend to be extra friendly with the village people who are naturally hospitable to a fault. But it is still Christmas and as local tradition dictates, one must not refuse an invitation to their houses. Besides, 'tis still the season to be jolly.

After the third house, more drinking and time check, I suggested we leave. It was then 1800 hrs. But Dave wouldn't have it and insisted we stayed a little bit longer. Girlfriend smiled. I became soft in the knees.

While David was served more langkau, I had to make sure the girlfriend was kept in check. It wasn't easy.

But all was well with the world yesterday and we all had a good time except when we left the village and as soon as my mobile had connection, I checked and swear I had 27 'missed calls' from one number which happened to be girlfriend's dad.

Eve of It

Christmas is tomorrow and I'm still at work. The mood at the salt mine since 9 this morning has been at an all time low which is understandable. No one wants to slave around at an eve of a festivity. Especially Christmas eve.

But today is my last day of work for 2007. When I come back to the office, it will be the 3 December 2008. But I got a memo from the big boss man specifically telling me to be at the office on the 26th and 27th to 'check on things' it says. In bold letters. But fuck that.

It also seems like it's been a very short year.

I hope to laze it off this week and hope time itself would pass by languidly instead of blazing by like it has all these years.

It's been a decent enough year. Quiet. No drama.

Anyway, another year awaits and I hope this one will bring on something new. Or some shit like that.

Above all else, I wish to be happy and content with what I have and what will be. What ever becomes of me, I hope I do not become more cynical and jaded. But that is all for next year. I will mull over it some other time.

For now, it is a time to enjoy and to be grateful for blessings, friends and family. I wish all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Bitch

My favourite beautiful nightmare is in town.

Haven't seen the woman for months and it was refreshing to be molested by her yet again.

She didn't bite. Although, I wished she did.

This time she went after my nipples. It was painful. Very painful.

~Ahhhhhhhh...ahhhhhhh...ahhhh~

Aku Pergi

Aku pergi...I go,
Ke tempat yang sama...To the same place,
Ke destinasi yang selalu aku pergi...Where I've always been.

Ke tempat aku tak pernah pergi...Where I've never been,
ke tempat aku selalu pergi...Where I will always go.

Aku pergi...I go,
Ke tempat aku harus pergi...Where I should go,
dan ke tempat aku di larang...and where I'm not allowed.
Di mana aku di sangkakan ada...Where I am expected,
dan, sebaliknya...and, simultaneously,
aku tiada...am never to be seen.

Aku Pergi...I go,
Ke tempat yang baru...To a new place,
asal usul nama lama...known by an old name.
Tapi aku biasa,...Familiar, yet,
dengan kesegaran dan keinginanya...fresh and inviting.
Sebuah tempat menjanjikan harapan...A place that holds new promise,
sesuatu tempat yang menjanjikan keyakinan...Promise of possibilities as yet unthought of.

Aku pergi...I go,
Ke tempat yang sama...To the same place,
Selalu tempat yang baru...Always the new place,
Walau seketika ia lain...Always strange,
Tetapi selalu sama...Always the same.

Teens

I had lunch at the usual coffeeshop just now and for the past few lunches, the same crowd of teens were there. They were just sitting there. I recognise at least 5 of them. A whole bunch of fucktards. All dressed up gangsta style complete with shiny chains hanging from their belts and shit like that. Jeans too large for their stupid skinny ass. The girls all had black mascara under their eyes and I wonder if they even know the goth look is grossly out of fashion now. Fucking ugly twats!!! Two of the boys, obviously drunk or high on some crazy shit cursed and swore and thanks to the juke box, my lunch was accompanied by songs bad enough to cause a serious fit. For some uncanny reason, the song 'You Spin Me Round' by this equally uncanny reason or excuse for a band, Dead Or Alive was played over and over and over again.

Fuck!!! Now I have it playing in my head.

But having to sit beside a table full of teenagers when eating is very annoying, especially when two of them looks exactly like a witch. Teenagers these days are most certainly more stupid than teenagers when I was a teenager.

If the current trend continues, I'm afraid we’ll be a nation of complete spastics by 2098.

W/O Fur

I was at the bookshop after lunch just now and just after I was done going through some serious read which was Times, my attention was drawn to the cover of this month's issue of Cosmo. I grabbed a copy and flipped through the pages and I saw Ms Eva in her most suggestive pose yet.

With the caption - ‘I’d rather go naked than wear fur’. You know this PETA tagline and all that shit. There are a few others who have done this gig and they all look beautiful without the fur or without anything else for that matter but the thing is it’s easy to announce that they'll all go naked from inside a nice, warm photographer’s studio.

I bet if you put them in Bario or Long Semado or a field in the far north of Sweden right now, they'll sing a different tune.

Fucking hypocrites.

Carry My Bag, Please?

If you haven't heard yet, there are two bright young Malaysian girls in foreign bighouses right now. One is in Japan and the other in China. Both arrested for trafficking hard drugs and were caught carrying it in their bags. Says in the papers that the girl caught in China had almost 3 kilos of nasty ones on her. Apparently the bags weren't even theirs, and check this out - it was their boyfriends. They were carrying it seemingly without a care what the fuck was in it. And the papers refers to them as 'two bright young Malaysian girls'.

Bright? That's like, smart, right?

One got slapped with a 7 year jail sentence while the other wasn't so lucky and will have to face the Chinese firing squad.

Bright?

A detective friend of mine who was here recently told me that he's got a few files of such scams on his table right now involving mostly Middle Eastern and African dudes who are in the country on the pretext of being legit foreign exchange student or businessman. Thing is, their modus operandi are similar.

Hook up with bright Malaysian girls, do a get to meet the parents session, throw some moolah around, do some serious jiggy with smitten girl and after two or three months suggest a holiday in Japan or China which apparently are the country of choice by these folks. The boyfriends takes off first and later calls from said country to smitten bright Malaysian girl to take the next flight out. Before she gets to the airport, he tells girlfriend that he had forgotten his little bag of clean underwear and that she needs to run to his swanky apartment to get it. She does and heads to the airport. Smitten bright Malaysian girl hasn't got a fucking clue that the little bag is packed with...guess what? Yes. Some crazy drugs. And it happens over and over and over again.

Ok. So here's the deal ladies. Next time you see a Middle Eastern / African dude, you fucking run. Run. Run very far. He's out to get you to carry his little bag. I don't care if the dude is a born again charismatic Christian whose dad pastors half of Africa's believers or if he claims that his uncle's second cousin's brother who is married to his step dad's sister is a member of the Kuwaiti's royal family, I say you fucking run. Because if you don't, you get to carry his little bag.

But jokes aside, ladies, even if you get hooked and even if youre asked to carry his little bag, maybe you should open the fucking bag when he's not looking. Be curious. Feel the contents. Fucking sniff it if you need to. B0ttom line - find out whats in it first before you fucking get it screened at the fucking airport security. Or try telling him that Cosmo says girls dont fucking carry bags. How fucking difficult is that?

Wait. Whhhooooaaaahhhh! Hoooooold it!

Holy crazy glue shit, Batman!!! Now, how the fuck did that kilos of crazy drugs get pass our airport security anyway???

My Mission School

I was having my morning coffee with a few friends from the legal fraternity this morning when the conversation shifted from a very serious tone to something utterly stupid which was almost bordering insanity.

It seems just a few weeks ago at the Parliament sitting, this two elected peoples rep from god-forsaken-I-don't-know-where felt it was timely to up their ego and intelligence to an incomprehensible level by pointing out that certain mission schools in the country have [let me PAUSE here for a second - check this out, yo] crosses!!! and statutes!!! representing the Christian faith and suggests that these had to be fucking torn down.

I mean, what da fuck??? Don't these people have better things to address in Parliament???

I only read the local papers on days when I need to be humoured but you do know that freedom of speech and shit like democracy is just a farce and that the media is merely the government propaganda whatchamacallit. And this kind of shit don't ever get reported. There is really nothing left to discuss or argue about that.

But I thought, yeah...but thats our politician. What else is new? They're all nut cases who deserved to be put on the stake and be burnt for their stupidity. Very slowly. Okay...not all of them but a very selected few.

And after reading about this two nut case in a popular alternative internet news, I just got fucking pissed off. Not so much of what was mentioned by these two fucktards but how fucking ugly the two actually is. I swear my pet roach looks better. I was just supper pissed off. Fuck, I really was.

I mean, what the fuck were the people thinking when they voted these two ugly fucktards into parliament.

According to the two, and having only now know due to their obvious stupidity, these mission schools have strong Christian influences and encouraged singing of church themed songs during their assembly. This was apparently the school's subtle way of converting students of other faith. Annnnnd here's the shocker - Muslim parents actually send their children to these fucking schools!!!

And just to add more humour into the matter, one of the fucktards added that "a father alerted him that these missionary schools were not close during Hari Raya". That was his only comment for the day. Hooo-fucking-raaay!!!

I don't give a fuck how the mission school is run over the other side but heres how it is at my school, SRB St Joseph (a catholic school) and later SMB St Thomas (an anglican school). I had classmates from all races and religion. Teachers too. The system never encouraged or taught anomisity towards other races or religious inclination. Even the Brothers who taught us never enticed anyone outside the faith to embrace the christian faith. And I don't ever fucking remember when we were made to sing christian songs during assembly except during chatecism and ISCF (Interschool Society of Christian Fellowship). And during these time when we attend religious classes, the Mulims attend to theirs. And I do clearly remember that when the Muslim prayers were recited at some school gathering we non Muslims stood in silence. We fucking didn't go home telling our momma that we were made to stand in silent humiliation when our Muslims brosephs were saying their prayers in our mission school.

Demolish crosses and statutes, you say??? Nooooooooo fucking shit!!!

In my school we did not hang crosses and there weren't any huge gothic like statutes of the saints. And there isn't any church on the grounds of the school. I mean, what the fuck do you want to tear down when these crosses and statutes are not even fucking there, you fucking moron??!!! There is a huge cross in front of the school but this is a fucking mission school, for fuck sakes. And, news flash!!!!!, there is instead a small surau in the school.

Fuck You and You!!!

And what is this fucking bull shit about mission schools not closed during Hari Raya? Fuckers, this shit is so bad bullshit...this is above bullshit. My train of thought is so distorted right now just thinking about this two twats, I cant think or hit the right caps on this fucking keyboard properly. Fuck!!!

Oh! But Lookiieee here....my, my...now if I remember correctly, Ahmad Bin Salleh, Hisham Bin Asri and Zaidi Bin Borhan were my classmates from the time I was too young to understand the word FUCK YOU, BITCH to the time I had my first wet dream. I was 18. And their mom and dad went to the same fucking school, fuckers. They didn't give two fucks about being in a mission school and in fact one of the boys who was on the same table with me this morning was Hisham. Fucking savvy lawyer that he is and he said he has the Jesuit Brothers to thank for what he is now. And he's pissed off big time at this two fuckers just like me.

Fuck, man. Didn't these two low life even bother to check where the DPM and the other Ministers went to school before making those fucking stupid comments?

This is to You and You.

Fuck right fucking off!!!

News To A friend

Perjalanan ini terasa sangat menyedihkan,
Sayang, engkau tak duduk di sampingku kawan,
Banyak cerita yang mestinya kau saksikan,
Di tanah kering berbatuan.

Tubuh ku terguncang di hempas batu jalanan,
Hati tergetar menampak kering rerumputan,
Perjalanan ini pun seperti jadi saksi,
Gembala kecil menangis sedih...

Kawan coba dengar apa jawabnya,
Ketika ia ku tanya "Mengapa?"...
Bapak ibunya telah lama mati,
Ditelan bencana tanah ini...

Sesampeinya di laut,
Ku khabarkan semuanya,
Kepada karang, kepada ombak, kepada matahari...
Tetapi semua diam, tetapi semua bisu,
Tinggal aku sendiri terpaku menatap langit...

Barangkali di sana ada jawabnya,
Mengapa di tanahku terjadi bencana,
Mungkin Tuhan mulai bosan...
Melihat tingkah kita,
Yang selalu salah dan bangga dengan dosa-dosa...

Atau alam mulai enggan bersahabat dengan kita,
Coba kita bertanya pada...rumput yang bergoyang...

Youth Misspent

It is easy.

Too easy.

To count the days or years I wasted as a youth.

So many activities and inactivities prevented or reversed my maturing into an adult . . . or the thing I am now that resembles an adult. It often seems rather tragic in retrospect. But having learned at least a little from my follies, and having taken my regrets to heart in fair measure, I now allow myself to laugh about it as I would laugh at that drunk who walked into the bar the other night and clumsily tried to sit his ass on the bar stool only to fall.

I still run into walls. I do. Less often but with greater force. I still chase prey that can't be caught, but occasionally catch something that satisfies my hunger.

But right now, I have an unquenchable thirst for that amber coloured juice.