Puck! Team America

If you haven't watch this one yet, you must. It was so fucking hilarious. I'm talking about the movie 'Team America'. I remember someone telling me about it yonks ago but I never came around to getting the DVD. And so I was at the supermarket yesterday evening to grab a bottle of wine when I saw a bargain bin outside this DVD shop. So I walked over and 'Team America' was in. I know, I know. I am a bit late. But nonetheless, I figured it'll keep the little cousins at bay for this barbecue I was to attend at one of the uncles.

See, my mom and dad siblings are basically all settled here and between them they've produced quite a number of little cute things. Average age - 6 years. And being the eldest and favourite cousin comes with big responsibilities. Much is expected of me. Like providing entertainment in the form of children friendly DVD's at family gatherings. This responsibility is vested on my being and last night it was going to be 'Team America'. I know - big mistake. Big fucking mistake. So we were outside in the garden eating, sipping wine and bitching about everything in general when little Joshua ran out to us and cried "Mommy, mommy the puppets are doing bad things on tv! They don't have their clothes on too."

The parents looked at me and asked what I got them this time and I told them its a movie with marionettes rather then the usual cartoons. I even told them there was a tv series back then called 'Thunderbirds' which was similar and I never missed watching. Told them it was all good. Minutes later, the little girls ran outside giggling and announced that the puppets were naked and on top of each other!!! I instinctively ran to the tv room and lo and behold Gary the hero was infact doing the lateral lambada on Lisa!!!

Oh. My. Lord!!!

Yes, puppets or rather marionettes were fucking the lights out of themselves!!!. And the scene was as intense as any Japanese porn. Oh. My. Lord!!! Puppets, friggin puppets on friggin strings!!!. I stopped the player and played back for a bit. I pushed play and a song came up like this 'America. Fuck, yeah!, America. Fuck, yeah!' over and over again. I could hear Jordan's older brother going 'America, Puck, yeah! Puck! Puck! Puck!'.

Oh. My. Lord! What have I done?.

Suffice to say, I got some parents offended. Coming from a very conservative Christian background, you can't blame them. One of the mothers said if any of her kids so much utter any obscenities from today, she'll have my head.

But it was all good. We had a good laugh afterwards mainly on the subject of puppets in compromising positions. Two uncles became quite descriptive. Thats why I like wine. It soothes the soul and reveals the truth about a person. In vino veritas.

But really, you would not want any kids hearing this :-

"See, there's three kinds of people: dicks, pussies, and assholes. Pussies think everyone can get along, and dicks just want to fuck all the time without thinking it through. But then you got your assholes, Chuck. And all the assholes want is to shit all over everything! So, pussies may get mad at dicks once in a while, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes, Chuck. And if they didn't fuck the assholes, you know what you'd get? You'd get your dick and your pussy all covered in shit! "

NOTE TO SELF : Must always check ratings on cover of dvd's