Jesus Carlos Ramos

I was at the Rainforest Music Festival this year on 7 to 9 July. If not for my two buddies from Johor who wanted to have a taste of what it was like, I would have not attended. You see, the event has become too commercialised and the line up of musicians have not very much improved since 2002. But thats my opinion.

And so I was there for the three nights. And it was a riot!!! There is much to tell but I shall refrain from doing so here in case I might compromise the privacy and good name of certain individuals who were staying in my chalet. A chalet which was meant for 6 persons ended up with 20 odd very, very, very, very highly intoxicated people. You got it right - freeloaders and party crashers most of them, but all was good. I am not complaining and in fact, if it wasn't for the big company, I wouldn't had so much of fun.

The boys and girls were beautiful. I scanned around at my guests and I found out I was the oldest. Average age of guests - 21 years!!! I know some of you envy me but really, you should. Imagine this, young things in bikinis walking around your dig. Young things making up everywhere. Young things fucking in the bedroom (without having the courtesy of locking the friggin doors). Young things fucking in the bathroom because all 6 beds were occupied by young things fucking!!!

I just stood on the sidelines and watched. It made me reminisce on my younger days when I was at that age. Did I score? No. But I felt deprived.

And then as if the heavens were watching and disaproving of the orgies of sex, drugs and alcohol that prevailed, God sent the guy up there to smite us with brimstone fire and other biblical plagues.

Enter Carlos Ramos of Hawaii.

He was our neighbour and perhaps due to the strong smell of certain herbal constituants and happy noises, his curiosity got the better of him and he walked to our dig. You could imagine the shock on everyone's faces when he appeared at the door (we were casually passing that certain herbal constituants in a certain aparatus around and laughing). There was a minute silence until someone said "That's friggin Jesus at the door!".

I nearly flipped and I swear one of the boys fell on his kness and started worshiping. It was so hillarious. So we invited him in and he, exactly like the biblical Jesus, mingled with sinners and dined with us.

Wherever you are Carlos Ramos of Hawaii, God bless you.