VD

I got this in my email today. Sent to me by a beautiful and liberated woman who share my sentiments and deep convictions on how stupid this day is. To her, I want to say, I'd probably do the same thing as I did yesterday. Like drink a few beers and do a bit of Hikaru Koto. Errrr....no. Last night was two episodes of Mike's Apartment, actually. Which was good.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Let the fucking axe swing on the heads of all who dig this VD shit. Didn't I just read in the papers the other day, some religious department is hell bent on screwing up this years do? About fucking time too. I say bring in the tanks. Let loose the dudes who did that Mongolian lady on these bitches and C4 their fucking ass!

Fuck, if it was up to me, I'd go back in time, fucking stalk this moron Valentinus biatch and when I do get to him, I'll jump him Ninja style and stab him in his mouth. Twice.

And then I'll cut the skin of his face and put it on to scare the Christians.

Happy Monday.

Anon and A Broken Heart

So I was at this shopping mall the other day and got myself a Lumberjack. Later, I walked into a DVD shop and as if the stars had aligned somewhere in the heavens somehow, I found this - I Spit On Your Grave. Its the remake of, yes, the 70's cult sex gone bad flick. And the copy I got was supa clear, uncut and with the correct English subtitles. When I checked, it was 'hearing impaired friendly'. And I'm like whatdafak.

If you're going like, whatdafak is I Spit On Your Grave, I don't blame you because that would mean you're still young and shouldn't even be reading this shit. Anyways, the reviews says it was a 70's cult horror movie but more like some bad porn to me. Wiki tells it better and says its a rape revenge film. And Times rated it as the most 'Ridiculously Violent Movie' together with The Passion of Christ. And I'm like whatdafak. Again.

So, I first watched the real deal and uncut when I was 15 and since then I wasn't the same. I respected woman.

Whatever. But okay, heres the spoiler.

A woman gets fucked, right. Yeah. She gets fucked, alright. Not that she wanted to. Be fucked, that is.

No, you don't understand. If you haven't watched this one yet, the woman gets really fuck-ed. Like no holes on her were spared. Like she gets gang banged. And fucked all over again.

But thats like watching fucking hardcore porn, you say.

Yes and no. And it gets better. The woman later recovers and all that, goes to church and fucks back. She gets to all the bitches who fucked her and fucked them fucking 10 times worse! One even got a fucking rifle shoved up his ass in what is in fact the best scene in the movie.

Yaaaaay!

And to Anon, who wants my take on 'a broken heart and how to heal it', here's what I think. After watching the remake of I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE and while nursing a confused cock stand thereafter, I was inspired and began to ponder on the wonders of this 'broken heart' thing. Much have been written about it and there are countless songs with the words 'broken' and 'heart' that we listen to everyday.

A broken heart, is like that woman who got fucked in every hole she has on her body.

But like that same woman, you shouldn't fucking go to your room and sulk and be all bitchy about it. Rather, you should go get a fucking Remington and shove it up the bastards ass and pull the trigger. Like what the woman did.

There. And everyone gets to live happily ever after.

Except for the bitches who fucked the woman. They get to die. Which is not a happy thing.

Dead Guitar

When I was told Gary died, my first instinct was to take a dump. It was still very early in the morning when I got the news. Judging from the 9 lines of text I received from this friend of mine, I could tell he's a big fan.

I am too.

Right now 'Over The Hills and Far Away' is playing and next on is 'Midnight Blues'.

So while I was taking a shit, I imagined his face. And you know the man's fucking ugly. He's so ugly, its frightening on different levels.

And I felt he was watching. Me. Shit.