A Noble Conjecture

I constantly torment myself with my burgeoning intelect...sometimes I wet my pants.

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Location: Gomorah, Sodom

I recognise my indulgence in alcohol is a cause of concern. I am equally distraught at my incorrigible insistence to partake in the celebration of my continued sluggish state brought upon by self inflicted and militaristic penchant for mindless mutilation. And you may go ahead and assume that God loves you more but He wants you to know that I am still his favourite.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Dear Jah

God,

We acknowledge that all we have is because of your grace. And what you give, you can also take away. But I pray, if you are willing, please give us back Bob Marley and in exchange you can have that Justin Beiber guy.

That is all and thanks.

O.k.

Out.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

QWERTY

We bid thee well, they tell me, to the world of technology.

But hear ye, I caution thee to severely watch thy step, lest ye get swept away by the new technology wave that doth hover 'bove the nation.

Nay! Nay! But the world!

New fangled contraptions like phones with G's and them berries and pads and pods and play book and whatnot. Computers hath taken the place of the omnipresent parchment and quill. Instead of the letters we often send to our lovers and kinsmen, we now send cold, unfeeling SMSes. Language hath been compressed excessively and hath been forced to bend down to the will of this new tyrant.

Wires and cables doth choke the land and metal carriages race across towns and nations within hours. The ways of the old have disappeared to make way for the damnable new.

Yes, I too, have been swept and I have come to warn thee not to commit the same error that I hath foolishly made. I, once naive, believed that technology could solve many problems that doth vex our world.

Folly, I say!

Woe! It is folly! Fucking folly!

For instead of offering assistance, this new tool strangled us and kept us in chains, forever bound to its damnable head.

Yet, I do not say ye avoid this new tool completely. Know it and use it, but use it well. Lest you be swept away and drown in the future. And from there...there be no return. Once thou hath entered that labyrinth of obsession, thou hath lost thyself to the demon puppeteer which keeps all on a leash, relishing in each usage of its charms.

PAUSE

So theres this messenger thing on my phone, right and I just discovered that if I use it to text another person who uses the same breed of phone, theres actually no fucking charge! Like, its fucking free! Like you can fucking go crazy with the tiny little fucking qwerty tabs and text your fucking friends till your thumbs bleed and its all for fucking free!!!

How cool is that?

Friday, November 19, 2010

Tadpoles

I was very reluctant to be hauled into this minister-of-defence person-who said-our-broseph-of-Chinesce-descent-are-not-patriotic-because-there-are-very-few-in-the-army drama and all the song and dance that followed, but since I am told that I share the same DNA composition with the natives of Taiwan who are by default considered Chinese which is all wrong but who the fuck cares, I now feel obligated to offer my views about all this hoo and haaa here. All because I too am offended by the minister of defence person's comment.

Because I am by default, Chinese and from Taiwan. Which is all wrong but fuck all!

And here it is. Again, in Verdana font, large and bold.

But this time, imagine that Ravi dude striking a tune or two on his sitar. And in the background, James Earl Jones voice saying....


"...cuntsider the tadpoles...they will become frogs and some, toads. Indeed, some will die but some people will watch those that lives and write a lot of papers about them. Some people may already have. Like how Jane Goodall watched chimps all her life and wrote about them which later earned her the initial Dr at the front of her name."


That is all.

Thank you.

Salam 1Dunia. Terima Kasih.

Now, fuck off! Im serious.

Fuck off!

Friday, November 12, 2010

Monyet

I didn't want to be pulled into this kid-got-caned-because-he-brought-pork lunch-to-school-and-now-his-dad-says-he's-not-of-the-Muslim-faith-anymore shindig but since I went to the same school, I find I'm duty bound to do my piece here.

And here it is. In Verdana font, large and bold.

Jane Goodall watched chimps all her life and loved it. She did not just watch but wrote lots of papers about them which later earned her the initial Dr at the front of her name.

That is all. Thank you.

Salam 1Dunia. Terima Kasih.

Now, fuck off!

Really. Fuck off!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Nothing is Real

Somewhere in the corner of my mind or what little is left, there registers the things going on around me.

Nothing is part of me.

Not a fucking thing is real. It's only me that counts. It's only me that'll remain. Long after ruminations of what is gone and the memories of elapsed time which is scattered to the wind.

Like fucking robots I mechanically go in the flow. I eat, talk, earn and fuck.

Day after day, night after night, time and again reminding myself that one day it will be all worth it.

One fucking day.

I tell myself that I have a dream and it is finally within grasp. Within my reach. If only I could just take a moment to remember what my fucking dream was.

Sometimes, like a cold damp cloth over my thoughts, shit gets clouded. Grey mists swell around and not a fucking thing seems real.

The moments of life lost in living.

But really, is there such a thing as happiness and sorrow after all? Or is there only one state of life?

The being state where you like, 'be'. Totally and complete aware of yourself, aware of your heart beat, aware of each breath you take, aware of the tangled webs surrounding you but still realize that you weaved them all.

Like, you actually asked for it .

Fuck all. I don't know, man.