Tough Year

As the end of the year draws to a close, it seems apparent that other such things are also coming to an end.

It's the time of year again.

Time to look within ourselves and find what we don't like and make wild claims about what we'll change and shit like like that. Come end of this month, I'll be looking in the mirror again and asking myself what achievement I've made for myself.

That is why I don't like December.

I am not quite sure where this year had gone, what I've achieved and yet somehow its a mere six days to the celebration of Yeshua's womb evacuation day and emotionally, I'm still in the same place and pretty much still disillusioned.

Was this year fine or just simply mediocre?

I certainly did some good. I did some charity work. Nothing great although I wished now that I did more. Oh, I finally made an effort to quit smoking. I used to go without for two or three months but its always been an emotional roller coaster rides of highs and lows. This time though, I'm good. Well, technically I still do but only the good stuff. But even that, only when the good stuff's available.

As the course draws to a close I fucking hope that the new year will bring some assurance of comfort. This year had been pretty tough. Fuck, last year and the year before that was tough.

But as the new year beckons, I couldn't help but wonder what the future holds in store.

I know we all will be embarking on new directions and shit like that. Yet this excitement is clouded by the inevitable change which will occur. Will all the shit we did this year and the events and stuff we shared with people become merely distant memories?

I don't know.

In the meantime, I'm going to pick myself up, dust myself off and go with the flow.