Djin
It's 10:46pm.
I had 7 big cats earlier at Ruai and would have continued to stay if not for the sudden influx of the young and very loud kind. Now, there is this noise in my head that goes like this - ngeeeeiiiinnnggg....ngeeeeeeiinngg...ngeeeeeiiinnggg.
Shit happens every time when I hadn't enough beer. Like just now. But it could be the djin.
There's a djin inside my head. And it changes shape and form. Sometimes a woman, sometimes a man, sometimes appearing as a two headed djin. A man and a woman. My djin is always that voice. That voice that tries to prove all of the shit I've heard or thought about myself. All the bad shit, of course. Djin's are only good at that.
When I was younger my djin had control. I made self-destructive choices with destructive results and I could hear the mo'fucker snickering in the distance saying, 'See? I fucking told you'.
I'm a little older now and my djin surfaces only when I'm fucking tired or stressed. When I'm feeling fucking defenseless I allow that voice to direct and lead me astray, sometimes with words which are meaningless to me but hurtful to others. Most days the voice just leads me to Ruai.
Right now, the voice is asking me to check out Minori Aoi but I know what that will lead to and I will not because I choose not to. Not tonight, djin.
Instead, I will shut the voice and drink that last can of Stella in the fridge now.
Good night.
I had 7 big cats earlier at Ruai and would have continued to stay if not for the sudden influx of the young and very loud kind. Now, there is this noise in my head that goes like this - ngeeeeiiiinnnggg....ngeeeeeeiinngg...ngeeeeeiiinnggg.
Shit happens every time when I hadn't enough beer. Like just now. But it could be the djin.
There's a djin inside my head. And it changes shape and form. Sometimes a woman, sometimes a man, sometimes appearing as a two headed djin. A man and a woman. My djin is always that voice. That voice that tries to prove all of the shit I've heard or thought about myself. All the bad shit, of course. Djin's are only good at that.
When I was younger my djin had control. I made self-destructive choices with destructive results and I could hear the mo'fucker snickering in the distance saying, 'See? I fucking told you'.
I'm a little older now and my djin surfaces only when I'm fucking tired or stressed. When I'm feeling fucking defenseless I allow that voice to direct and lead me astray, sometimes with words which are meaningless to me but hurtful to others. Most days the voice just leads me to Ruai.
Right now, the voice is asking me to check out Minori Aoi but I know what that will lead to and I will not because I choose not to. Not tonight, djin.
Instead, I will shut the voice and drink that last can of Stella in the fridge now.
Good night.
posted by Demented | Wednesday, October 15, 2008
2 Comments:
Your djin is very mischievous indeed. Especially the kind that leads you to Ruai. Are you sure its name is not Peter John or something like that?
Is that the last can of Stella from last Saturday afternoon session at your place?
langkau : this djin is bad enough kanid. i dont need pete in my head.
last can from saturday do.
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