Sinking Feelings

Someone called me this morning and in our conversation she said, " I'm getting that sinking feeling again". I shall not get into the details but suffice to say that I got rid of her fast because I wasn't in the mood to play shrink.

Sinking feelings aren't usually due to happy, good things. No, we get sinking feelings when we hear the phone ring in the dead of the night or when you get that piece of mail from the bank or when the doctor gives you that look.

I have plenty of situations my own that could certainly be applied to those types of situations. But, I'm setting aside all the negative for today simply because I had one too many last night and that I left Ruai at 2 this morning and that I have a slight throbbing headache at the left side of my left parietal lobe - if that serves any relevancy to the matter I shall now expound. Besides, I can always pick all the shit back up tomorrow.

Instead, I want to think of the good things that can come from 'I get that sinking feeling'. I might stray off the main path slightly but I think the general idea will still be there.

1. Sinking into pools of big cats. All 24 of them, if I can. This is one of the best sinking feelings I can come up with. It still amazes me, after 10 years or more together, that all my troubles can seem less important or urgent when I wrap my fingers around one of them. I can stand or sit there grasping them firmly, saying nothing, for hours on end and some how it is just what I need to feel better.

2. Sinking into bed. With a woman, preferably.

3. Sinking into a good book. I can loose hours when reading a good book. Whole days will disappear while I sink into the world of whatever book I'm reading. I can devour books in a matter of one evening. But, there is something to be said about a good story that pulls you in. There are times when I think about a story and I will have a hard time remembering if it was a book I read or a movie I watched. The images and characters in a book can become so real to me that I can see them in my head and the book can play out like a movie in my mind's eye.

4. Sinking your teeth into good food. They don't call it 'comfort food' for nothing. I know it is a bit of a cliche to mention how men and greasy food go together, but for some of us it is so true. Something about a favorite food just helps make a bad day a little better. When you sink your teeth into that favorite food and your eyes roll back into your head...there is something powerful in that. Like good sex.

5. Sinking into your imagination. There is no bad situation that you can escape...if only momentarily...by using your imagination. I imagine myself in my dream job...or at least in a different job than I am in. I imagine being with Hikaru Koto...how I will sink myself into her and make her feel complete, some shit like that. I can imagine and day dream all sorts of things...and isn't it always nice when those things happen to come true.