Mails

I wonder if you get as many chain letter mails in your mail box as I do? If there is anything I hate to see in the morning it would be one of these chain letter mail that I supposedly have to send to 25 person for the benefit of a 6 year old girl in Tibet with a breast on her forehead so she will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her parents sell her off to the travelling freak show. And like this one I got the other day that says that Bill Gates is going to give me and everyone who forwards the mail a thousand grand. And if I scrolled down the page, and make a wish, it'll come true and all that shit. And then there was the one on this free handphone thing. These crap mails are from friends nonetheless. Look, if you consider yourself my buddy, please refrain from sending me all these. If you're going to forward something to me, at least send something mildly amusing. Thank you.

I got this in my mail today and I thought this was very true and honest. I have a lot of friends but the ones who I can really count on and confide in are few. Very, very few. I'd rather have friends who are honest and tell me in my face that I screwed up rather than the one's who try to paint a rosy picture of my failures and flaws. The rest, as they say, are just fair weather buddies. This is what Mart sent me.

Aren't you just tired of those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You won't see any cutesy little smiley faces in this list just the stone cold truth of our great friendship. And in bold letters so that you can read it.

• When you are sad, I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.


• When you are blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.


• When you smile I will know you finally got laid.


• When you are scared, I will rag on you about it every chance I get.


• When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.


• When you are confused, I will use little words.


• When you are sick, stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.


• When you fall, I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.


• And always remember....when life hands you lemons, ask for tequila and salt and call me over!!!

See. The above is honest and very often than not, what I would get from my real friends.

And this one too.

As explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went :

"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... a herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

I can't agree with Cliff more. So, bratha's, let's all continue to indulge and get drunk.

And Mart, thanks for being a good friend and for just being there, you slimy bastard of a twit!!!