Epic

It's election fever again for some people.

I say, fuck that shit.

But have you noticed, for the past ten years or so, when you read the local papers and at least if it is on Malaysian politics, we had to endure periodic obsessive fits about the opposition's head honcho supposed sexual escapades? And on TV too.

First it was about him butt fucking his ugly speech writer, who is a dude, and how he got caught and all that. And then how on TV, we saw the police parading the fucking mattress on which they supposedly fucked in and out of the court rooms.

So, it is wrong to butt fuck here in my country. You can but don't get your ass caught. Or your dick. Or whatever. They tried so hard to put the man in the can but just couldn't pin shit on him. After a couple of years, powers that be got all spent and the man walks free. And he's still fucking them in the ass. Only in a different way.

Then not long ago this girly looking dude owned up and said he's all traumatised cos the man done all fucked him in the butt. It was all the same drama and shit. Again. And while the man's trying to clear his name some major jerkburgers took to national TV and said they now have some nasty home vid of him getting it goin' on with a fuckin' ho. A GIRL ho!

And I'm like, the man's fucking a bitch and thats wrong too?

So its not about the man being gay and butt fucking dudes, cos that bit didn't put him in jail. Its not even him being straight. Its about fucking a ho's pussy! That's all wrong.

So naturally I'm like, this man is a natural mo'fucking badass!

And this we read in the papers for the past ten years. Like, it is as if people have nothing better to do than to engage in an orgy of voyeuristic gratification.

But fuck it.

Hows about this one - a mufti dude from a state across the big sea had just gone bat guano crazy and decreed that the 'poco-poco' dance is all wrong. Might just Christianised the Muslim dancer, he says.

Wasn't it just months ago when some mufti dude decreed the Man U's jersey to be like, evil cos theres a devil with a fucking pitch fork on it? And then last December another one decreed donning Santa's suit all wrong for a Muslim cos that be all christian and basically will christianized him if he play Santa for a while. Valentine day's all wrong too cos it be all sexy but I'd like to tell the dude that it's not sexy, its just fucking wrong. Errr...nevermind.

Says now this 'poco-poco' has some christian and crazy ass devil worship elements to it and if our Muslim brosephs did the dance, they'll all get messed up and shit. Cos it be Jamaican voodoo and christian and all that. Says too, that Muslims should just stick to joget and I'm like, didn't the Portuguese dudes gave influence to that one and aren't the Portuguese like, friggin' christians?

Maaan, I heard of stupid but this kind of stupid is monumentally epic, its like...fuck, its just fucking epic.

And I think April fools day is still stupid.