His Addiction

I spent a little time today with a good friend. He's in the Intensive Care Unit and was admitted a few days ago due to an overdose of some substance. I got to know last night and drove over to the hospital only to be asked to leave because it was way past visiting hours. He's better now – the friend I’ve tried to understand. And still trying.

It hasn't always been easy for him.I have only known him for the past few months and we've talked over a lot of things, his substance dependency included. And over the few months that I have known him, I have watched him progress, fall, get up again, and then seemingly dig himself deeper into the downward spiral of addiction to substances and to a certain extent, maybe alcohol. Having grown to enjoy his company and understand him as I would a good friend, and watching his frustrated father throw his hands up in despair, I told myself that I would remain a true friend.

When not using substances or alcohol, this young man is intelligent, loving, caring, and selfless. But like anyone in his shoes, when the substances are added to his body he becomes a different person. Where people had laid trust and placed hopes there seemed to be nothing. So what was I, or anyone of his true friends to do as we watched him slowly fade? I talked about sobriety, checking into rehab centre or counseling, finding a safe place. Even going back to his hometown where his families are. He tried. But there is perhaps this resounding emptiness in him that needs to be filled. I've lived with his kind all through college and I learned what emptiness means. This emptiness is colder, very much colder. But there were periods when he would clean up, clear-minded, and begin to grasp a sense that he didn't have to live day to day as a dependant anymore.

His father said, worst were the days that he wouldn't hear from him at all, and he would begin to dread that call letting him know the worse had happened. Although the constant wear of desperate calls was stressful, the silent waiting and praying was far worse.

I've seen him sober. He is a better person when he is. For some, it takes only the threat of losing things that are important to us. For others, it takes stark reality giving us a kick in the butt to wake us up and truly motivate us to do what's best for ourselves. Does he have a guarantee to stay sober? His sobriety, his recovery is in his own hands - but it can't hurt anyone to have a hand to hold when the going gets rough...

For you my friend, hang in there. There are some of us who cares.