Ramblings

It's really quiet in the office today. Except for the ladies in front, all the rest has gone outstation. I'm left to secure the fort.

I took a glance at the calendar and it struck me how fast time flies now. It's the final quarter, finally. It's as if time herself can't wait to get this year done with. October is going to come and go in a flash especially with my coming tight schedule. By the time I get my first looooong eight day break, it'll be mid November already. I need this one badly. I need to get away. Which reminds me, I need to apply for leave for the 2 through the 9 of November.

I feel like I'm in some kind of hiatus right now. From life. I feel like I'm in suspended animation, pausing until something else happens in my life. I feel like being just an observer right now. Nothing is happening to me, but many things are happening to others. I just watch.

I feel like I'm in a "in-between" stage, just coming out of something and and waiting for whatever next thing that happens. You know, like half-time during a football game.

It's nice to watch. It's nice once in a while to not be caught up with the things that go on in life. Like the angst and the agony that comes with everything else. Like the frustrations of wondering if I'm in the right place. Like the stress and fear of having major changes in your life.

It's nice to be able to rest. It's nice to able to laze around the house doing not much and thinking even less. I have been doing that of late which is by the way, very therapeutic. It's nice to hang with friends and have nothing seriously important to discuss. It's even better to be alone in a nice watering hole. On that note, I haven't been that successful in my quest for a replacement yet. I was at two places last night and yet again, I was to be disappointed. But there is this one place that was recommended though. I may be visiting it later to see if my soul agrees with it. I hope it does because, damn it! I'm tired of moving from one place to another.

Everything is routine at present. Calm and ordinary, with just enough highlights to prevent it from being monotonous and dull.

I want to revel in the relative tranquility that is now. I want to bask in my ordinary state of being. I know with my luck, it won't last. There will be upheaval. The necessary roller coaster ride. But not right now.

And for once, I hope that whatever thing is supposed to happen next, let it be a thing that I can deal with. Let it be a thing that I've learnt lessons about. And may I not forget these lessons.

I hope the Fates will favour me? Maybe.