The Lord's Beer Prayer

Our Lager which art in barrels,

Hallowed be thy drink,

I will be drunk,

At home as in the tavern,

Give us this day our foamy head,

And forgive us our spillages,

As we forgive those who spill against us,

And lead us not into incarceration,

But deliver us from hangovers,

For thine is the beer, the bitter and the lager,

Forever and ever,

Barmen.

• Damn it!!! My head hurts and it isn't funny anymore. Obviously, the above prayer didn't work for me today. I wasn't delivered from this damn hangover. I still can smell beer on my friggin own breath. I don't know about you but I never fail to utter some form of incantations or prayer before I sleep regardless how super inebriated I am.

• The fact is, I never go to sleep without a prayer. I remember uttering something this morning when I hit the sofa. Something incoherent but invoking the name of my saviour all the same.

• And so I decided the above prayer should be put up there just because its a Saturday and there are some of us who will be going for mass. Besides, tomorrow is Sunday. Dear friends, please pray for me. My head still hurts. I may have had a bit too much last night.

• This has got to stop. Starting tonight.